The 12 Pains of Christmas
by Aoi-Sora-Ryuu
Summary: Kind of like the 12 days of christmas but not...if you've heard the song you know what I mean. rated T for wording.


AN: First I want to clarify a few things. This is a song fic. Haku is female in this fic for a reason, while I do prefer Haku as a male. To go with the song Haku will be married off to some random villager. I'm sure many have heard this song before and if not should look it up, it's hilarious. There are a couple of versions of it because of the fact that little kids might listen to it. So without further ado, I present to you my first Naruto Song Fic.

**The 12 Pains of Christmas**

**A Naruto FanFic**

**-The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is finding a Christmas tree.**

Team 7 walked through hills of snow and saw sad looking trees. Some were dead, how long were they even out here for. The three genin looked up at their sensei and shook their heads, nope these wouldn't cut it at all.

**-The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; rigging up the lights and finding a Christmas tree.**

Team 7 had met at the bridge, after a couple of hours of searching for a tree they headed home. Naruto worked on putting the lights on the outside of his apartment. It was near impossible and he wanted to give right there, but no, not just yet…these lights won't get the best of him this year.

**-The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; hangovers, rigging up the lights, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto ran over to Jiraya's apartment and banged on the door. He was hoping that Jiraya would have an idea on how to untangle lights and where to find the best tree in Konoha. Jiraya came to the door with his hand to his head and glared down at Naruto, "Do you have to knock so loud brat, I gotta hangover…ughh…whatcha' want?" Naruto just waved a hand in front of him and scrunched up his nose, "Never mind Ero-sennin you'd probably give me wrong directions anyway, later!"

**-The forth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; sending Christmas cards, hangovers, rigging up the lights, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto leaving Jiraya stumbled across Shikamaru, and to say Naruto was happy would be an understatement. Naruto knew Shikamaru was smart, so he had to know how to deal with tangled lights and finding the best tree in Konoha. He ran over to Shika, "Hey Shika, what's up?" Shikamaru just sighed, "Troublesome…. My kaa-san wants me to send Christmas cards out to everyone." Naruto chuckled, "I'd rather do that than untangle my Christmas lights and look for a tree." Shikamaru just shook his head, "Good luck." Naruto nodded and left Shikamaru to his thoughts.

**-The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; five months of bills, sending Christmas cards, hangovers, rigging up the lights, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto decided to go visit Tsunade. "Baa-chan! What-cha' doing?" Tsunade threw a desk weight at Naruto, which he quickly ducked, "What I say about calling me that, gaki?" Naruto looked thoughtful, "Not to?" Tsunade just smiled, "So why did you come bother me for?" Naruto grinned, "My lights are tangled and I was getting frustrated so thought I should get out the house. You look frustrated too Tsunade-baa." Tsunade's forehead twitched but she smiled, "I always will around this time, bills…. Five months of them! Shizune won't even let me try to gamble to win some of the money." Naruto looked thoughtful, "That's because if you do win something bad will happen." Tsunade started throwing things at Naruto, chasing him out, Naruto laughing the whole while.

**-The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; facing my in-laws, five months of bills, I hate those Christmas cards, hangovers, rigging up these lights, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto decided after the fun with visiting Tsunade-baa-chan he wanted to visit his friend Haku. He knocked on her door and he was let in, getting a quick hug. "How are you, Haku-chan?" Haku smiled at Naruto, "I'm doing well, thank you Naruto." Naruto noticed she seemed a bit nervous, "What's wrong?" Haku bit her lip then blurts out her insecurities, "His family is coming, and they never really liked me. Will he leave me because of his family?" Naruto hugged her, "If he does he doesn't deserve you." Haku smiled, "Thanks Naruto, have you finished putting up those lights yet." Naruto groaned, "Don't remind me." And with that he shuffled at the door.

**-The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; the Salvation Army, facing my in-laws, five months of bills, sending Christmas cards, oh Geez, I'm trying to rig up these lights, and finding a Christmas Tree.**

So Naruto headed back home; and was working on putting the lights up once more, when Neji walked by. Neji looked up and saw Naruto and snorted, "What are you doing?" Naruto looked at Neji with a raised eyebrow, "What does it look like I'm doing; I'm putting the lights up." Neji stood there watching him, "You know what I hate most about this holiday, people asking other people for money for other people." Naruto raised a brow in confusion as Neji walked off, "Well….that was weird…."

**-The eight thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; "I want a transformer for Christmas", charities and what do you mean your in-laws, five months of bills, ah making out these cards, eh just get me a beer huh, what! We have no extension cords, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto, seeing he needed an extension cord to finish putting up the lights, went into village and to his surprise saw the Konohomaru Corps and their parents. The kids saying they wanted this or that, the parents saying they were too young or maybe if they are good. He shook his head, well guess everyone gets in the Christmas spirit their own way.

**-The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; finding parking spaces, "Daddy I want some candy!", Donations!, Facing my in-laws, Five months of bills, Writing out those Christmas cards, hangovers, Now why the hell are they blinking?, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Naruto bumped into Kiba, who was riding Akamaru. "Yo, Naruto! Where ya' headed?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head holding up the cord, "Back home. I needed this extension cord so I could finish hanging up the lights, you?" Kiba grinned, "Looking for someplace to park Akamaru, I'm buying something for Hina-chan, and Akamaru's to big to carry inside the store now. Naruto nodded, "Good luck! Later Kiba, Akamaru!" Naruto hurried home and plugged the extension cord in but to his surprise the lights started blinking, "What the?"

**-The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; batteries not included, no parking spaces, "Buy me something!", "Get a job you bum!" , facing my in-laws, five months of bills, oh-ho sending Christmas cards, oh geez look at this, one light goes out the others go out, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Ino looked at the package in her hand and read the back and wanted to scream, no batteries….how cruel. Maybe Naruto….with a nod to herself Ino ran to Naruto's place. "Hey Naruto! You have any batteries?" Naruto looked down at Ino and nodded and walked inside, rummaging through a dresser he found a pack and threw them down, "Here you go Ino." Then a light flickered off, and then all of them went out, Naruto blinked then stormed inside and decided to meditate and calm himself, and talk to Kyuubi.

**-The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; still t.v. specials, batteries not included, no parking spaces, "mom I gotta go to the bathroom!", charities, she's a witch I hate her, five months of bills, oh I don't even know half these people, almost got the toilet paper, get a flashlight I blew a fuse, and finding a Christmas tree.**

Kakashi knew of one thing he hated above Gai's constant bothering him it was those still t.v. specials. They needed new stuff, not the same old same old. Kakashi just gave a sigh and read his precious orange book as he head towards the bridge to meet his team. But the only person he saw was Sakura, "Yo! Where's Sasuke and Naruto?" Sakura jumped and looked up at Kakashi, "Well….I don't know about Naruto….. but Sasuke is probably stuck in his house…" Kakashi looked confused, "Well let's go get Sasuke then try to find Naruto." Sakura nodded.

**-The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me; singing Christmas carols, still t.v. specials, batteries not included, no parking, Ahhhh!, Charities, Gotta make 'em dinner, Five months of bills, I'm not sending this year that's it, Shut up you!, Fine if you're so smart you rig up the lights!, and finding a Christmas tree.**

When Kakashi and Sakura made it to Sasuke's house there was carols being sung and girls begging Sasuke to come out and sing with them. Kakashi shushined him and Sakura inside to see Sasuke covering his ears, they looked at him with a question in their eyes, "Hn…. I hate singing Christmas carols….where's the dobe?" Kakashi nodded, "We're after him next." Sasuke nodded. With a hand on their shoulder he shushined them inside Naruto's apartment at the same moment that Naruto stood up and yelled at the Kyuubi, just he did it out loud and not in his head, "Fine if you're so smart you rig up the lights!" he had yelled shaking his fist. Kyuubi snickered, "Kit you do realize you spoke aloud and your team heard you right?" Naruto opened his eyes and blushed. Kakashi having an idea who he was talking too just snickered, "Ready to go tree hunting again today, Naruto?" Naruto sighed, "Hai, Kakashi-sensei. Why can't we just buy a fake one?" Kakashi grinned, "Where's the fun in that?" The rest of team 7 sighed and prepared for a long day.

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AN: Thanks for reading! Will take your criticism good and bad! Since I only decided to write this after watching a video. Actually I have a, what's it called…. Project of sorts… using the 12 Pains of Christmas, the Original 12 Days of Christmas, the 12 Days of Christmas (some other style), just put what style you are doing it in, and if you are reading this but are a fan of some other anime and feel you can write it better for that anime, be my guest. I would like to know if you do write one though so I can read it, I'd like to read one about the Akatsuki the 12 Pains as well as the 12 Days. I wonder how a Akatsuki fanfic would look with the song fic of the redneck 12 days of Christmas. Well better scoot! Thanks again!


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